That cow is not happy!

I HATE the ducking Happy Cows Come From California bullshit. Everyone knows where the most best cheese comes from, from the hottest cold cows out there, and that is Wisconsin. And I hate the California Cow commercials. For one thing, none of those stupid cows is ever doing any work! No where near the work ethic of a sensible and sturdy Wisconsin cow. I mean, do you want cheese or not, I ask you? I like my cows giving milk, not running around the fields rolling around speaking French and trying to get laid, thank you very much.

But the latest commercial really gets my goat because that cow is not even happy! It is the one with the little-girl-who-wants-to-be-an-actress cow and the stage mom cow. Most of the commercials are up online, and I tried to find this one but it must not be up yet. Anyway, doesn't matter- if you haven't seen it consider yourself lucky! It sucks! Again, all the commercials suck but this one is frustrating because, again, THE COW IS NOT HAPPY. The commercial is the cow equivalent of that Vh1 reality show with Danny Bonaduce "I Know My Kid's a Start" where the moms are aneorexic and overbearing and living vicariously through their 11-year olds and the kids are aneorexic and over makeup-ed and without a good role model. These are the real California cows- superficial, insecure, craving the spotlight. Those cows have no interest in giving us milk! That is the true nature of a California cow, and if you pin your dairy hopes and dreams on those cows they will chew you up and spit you out like rotten cud. Take my advice and get behind some down to earth Wisconsin cows. They may not be as thin and glitzy, but they'll never leave you.