New research on diagnosing Alzheimer's is very hopeful. Read about it at nytimes.com which reports that a new spinal fluid test can be "100 percent accurate in identifying patients with significant memory loss who are on their way to developing Alzheimer's."
Part of me thinks that this is great news. Another part of me wonders how soon you would want to know that you have Alzheimer's. It's a horrible disease and it takes your whole life away.
Quick aside: one day I was at Hilldale Shopping Center in Madison and I came upon Sundance Cinema. I thought, "why have I never gone to a movie alone?" I'd never eaten at a restaurant by myself either. I realized that it had to do with my anxiety about being alone, which I have always had. Ironic for someone who likes to be by herself so much, but this is different- this is alone in public. And I'd just never been comfortable doing it. I could run errands by myself, and although I preferred to have someone with me, at least I could do that. But that is a little different. When you run errands by yourself, you are cloaked in the comfort and normalcy of the task- you're just grabbing a quick something before you reintegrate yourself into your busy life full of people! People!
Anyway, on this particular day, I decided that I needed to assert myself, by God, and go to a movie by myself! I chose "Away from Her." Big ass mistake. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but I'll be conservative in my description of it and call it SOUL CRUSHING. It's about a beautiful older couple with just enough. Just enough money, just enough life, just enough baggage between them, just enough love, just enough interest in each other, just enough intelligence, to make their struggle with Alzheimer's horrific to watch. I sobbed alone there in the theater. I couldn't really stop. It took me 3 years to work up the courage to go to a movie by myself again.
So, the point is, I'm not sure how much I'd like to know that Alzheimer's is coming. How long I'd like to wait for it to get me. How much I'd gain by thinking ahead. Would it just be like knowing the date that you are going to die? Where you would probably end up obsessing and sort of losing precious life focusing on your death. Or maybe you'd be able to fight it or something, get some treatment and live through it.
Either way, it's probably the end of days. That much is almost certain.
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2 comments:
That movie was intense and surprisingly funny at times. I thought Julia Christie's performance was great.
I would never want to know the date of my death. And, I know that my mom's side of the family tends to go slow in the brain towards the end of life (never diagnosed dimentia) - which is part of why I try to exercise regularly and keep my mind active. Both have been attributed with keeping dimentia at bay a little longer.
Based on romanticized accounts of dimentia in couples, I think having a spouse who is faithful might help, too (or being faithful yourself...basically, try not to live a lie your whole life and you won't have to escape into dimentia is the message I get from some of these movies). I don't want to make light of such a serious disease that devastates so many, rather, I'm commenting on the oddities I've noticed in popular movies like The Notebook and this one.
Hhhmmmm, very interesting point about pop culture and dementia. It WAS sort of like that in "Away from Her," now that you mention it. Where there was this idea that one could retreat from pain by advancing into dementia.
Jeffrey likes cross word puzzles, and I know my parents do those as well, which helps keep the brain busy. I've tried to get into something like that, but I'm no good at cross words, sudoku, anything like that. Hopefully my brain is busy enough with regular life!
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