The difference between me and Mister Jeff

There are a many differences. In fact, there are more differences than similarities between us. But this one, I noticed it the other day and it cracked me up.

So here's what happened: We placed an order online for a Christmas present to send to Jeffrey's father back at the end of November- November 29th, to be exact. There was some issue with the page loading when we ordered, and so we never got confirmation of the order for some reason. But, I could see on our online banking that at least they had taken our money.

So, fast forward a few weeks, and Jeffrey has a day off. I asked him to tie up some loose ends, one of which was calling the company where we placed the order, figuring out if it had really been placed, etc. There were a few other things too. So, as I'm explaining these tasks to him, I'm making notes for him of dates, amounts, phone numbers, and such to make these tasks go more smoothly. Jeffrey was also taking notes for himself.

These are our two notes. Observe the difference between us.

Click on the picture, and you will clearly see that, after all the conversation we had, the only thing he wrote was : Order placed Nov. 29? WTF?

Love.

Just a girl heading to a trial.

This is a picture from back in November. I was at my office for lunch, and then my friend and coworker Beth and I were heading back to court for the trial we were doing. The contents of my briefcase really cracked me up. And the beer was related to the trial, I swear.

Golden Girls

Dorothy and Sophia and standing in the kitchen. Dorothy is wearing a formal dress, and Sophia is pinning it to make alterations. Blanche walks in.

Blanche: Well girls, I did it. I finally broke down and bought that dress I've been eyeing for a month.

Dorothy: I thought you were going to wear that same silk dress you wore to last year's banquet.

Blanche: Oh no, I changed my mind. I decided too many people would recognize it. It is such a stunning shade of green.

Sophia: The only thing they'll remember is the way you fall out of it.

Blanche: Oh Sophia!

Sophia: If you asked people the color, half of them would say "flesh tone."

Blanche: Sophia!

Dorothy: Blanche, forgive her. Ma is a little irritable today. She doesn't have a date for the banquet.

Sophia: I'm just picky. The banquet dinner is a big deal. I don't want to go with just anyone,

Blanche: Well you know, I don't have a date yet either.

Dorothy: Blanche Deveroux can't find a date?!

Blanche: Oh, don't be ridiculous! My only problem is trying to decide which one of my many suitors to flatter with an invitation. After all, it's the social event of the season.

Dorothy: I guess you'll just have to break a few hundred hearts.

Blanche: I know. I haven't had to break so many hearts since Daddy tore down the tree house.

While things are falling apart for me...

...they are really coming together for Kari! Way to put your new schedule to good use!

When did I become normal?

My growing normalcy is an unwanted and disturbing trend. My personality remains odd, but none of the accoutrements of me and my life retain the same characteristic. I think it's most striking to me when I consider my clothing choices, which are nothing if not boring. I wear zip-up embroidered blazers for fun for God sakes. Sound familiar? That's because I got it from your mom's closet.

Nothing that I do with my time is interesting either. I don't even watch off beat movies anymore. I certainly don't know anything about current music. I would try to change if I weren't so tired all the time. Work seems to take something out of me. Hopefully I'll find a way to put back in whatever is lost. Unfortunately by the time I put things back together I'll be 35 and I won't be cute anymore so no one will pay attention. So I'm feeling cheerful! Good talk.

Victoria Beckham fashion

More Victoria Beckham fashion. You can see all of her stuff here. Most of the dresses reference the style of the other VB dresses that I've posted, with solid fabric covering the entire chest up to the neck and going from tip of shoulder to tip of shoulder at least. The one above is in that same vein. But there were some different silhouettes, and the dress below is one that I like out of the "different" camp. I'll point out to Jill that there are also a lot of dresses where the chest frowns at you, so not sure how you'll like the collection.

Twins

Beth got Jeffrey the same pajamas! Mister Jeff loves pajamas.

We had a pajama party one time that is one of my best memories. When I say "we had a pajama party" I literally mean we, just me and Mister Jeff. We were hanging around the apartment in Madison in our pajamas, watching movies, when we decided it was time to party. So we headed to the bar and hung out with our friends in our jammies and acted weird and took pictures.

Mister Jeff LOVES to take pictures. He used to take pictures of me constantly, all the time. No situation was too boring or intimate. I'm sleeping on the couch? Take a picture. I'm using the restroom? Better photograph that. I'm cooking dinner? Posterity must know.

He's cooled off a bit, but if you look through our camera, you'll still find things like pictures of just my back from when we were walking and Jeffrey decided to photograph the moment.

My new favorite Christmas present.

My friend Beth gave me these crazy pajama things for Christmas! They have legs and arms everything. Obviously you can see that. Anyway, these things are great! I wore it this afternoon at the office, and of course I'm having a fashion show at home tonight. As Beth says "these are the perfect pajamas for a girl who is trying to get pregnant." Too sexy.

Maybe he should dress as a sexy nurse for Halloween next year...

Today Mister Jeff officially passed his second semester of nursing school. He can now take the boards to be an LPN- a real live nurse! And in one year he'll be qualified to be an RN, and all his hard work in school will be over.

I'm very proud of him. Here is what his clinical instructor had to say about him in his summary: "Hard working. Knowledgeable. Thorough assessments and cares. Medication knowledge. Flexible and adaptable to changes in care plan." This is dorky and really boring to most of you, I know. But nursing school is so hard, and multiple classmates have failed each semester, so each one is a big accomplishment.

Golden Girls

Season 1, Episode 9

Blanche is asked out by Dirk, a MUCH younger man from her aerobics class. She accepts the date, and spends all week starving herself, exercising, and eating vitamin supplements. She feels younger than she has in years.

Hair and makeup done, and dressed to the nines, Blanche is ready for her date. She opens the door. Dirk tell her she looks gorgeous. Blanche thanks him, and asks him to wait for her in the car while she says goodbye to the girls.

Blanche, to Dorothy and Sophia: I do believe the man said, "Gorgeous!" I'm gonna live forever!

Dorothy: Not outside of an institution.

Cookies!

Peanut butter chocolate balls.
Shortbread with walnuts.
Orange biscuits.
It took sort of like forever to make these cookies. But it was fun. And I'm making more later in the week!

Things you really want to know about me.

1). I'm superficial. I love Latisse. At first I was afraid that it would make hair grow on my eyeballs or that it would blind me. But then I realized that I didn't care about that as much as I cared about trying to grow more lashes. My lashes had been falling out and it was keeping me up at night. So I dove in with both feet and I refuse to look back. Even when it irritates my eyes.

2). I'm a sort of loser/dork. I am about to chose to watch reruns of Frasier instead of episodes of The Office that I have never seen. And the episodes of Frasier that I am re-watching are episodes on the only 2 seasons of Frasier I own on DVD. So I've seen these particular discs A LOT. Multiple, multiple times. This week. I love Frasier.

There is more about me that you really want to know, but I can't think of what it is right now. More later.

Gifts for cultural icons.

Flavorpills's Holiday Gift Guide: 100 Gifts for 100 cultural Icons. This is their suggestion for Rivers Cuomo. A print of a half-Japanese girl (Tokyo Girl by David Choe).

First of all let me say that I am happy to live in a world where Rivers still makes lists of cultural icons. Second let me concur with Rivers that half-Japanese girls do it me every time, as well. I think that we have all found ourselves affected that way at some point. Especially you. You dirty bird.

Winter fun

I see Mariah has the same idea as me...tomorrow, nothing will come between me and my baking. Except that I have to go back into work for a few hours. Still, I'll get it done. I've already made one batch...2 more to go, at least!

Golden Girls

From dlisted:

Before the late and oh-so-great Bea Arthur was an earth angel and international treasure, she was a truck driving marine who went by her birth name Bernice Frankel. Even in her afterlife, Bea Arthur is finding ways to capture more real estate in my heart and it's working! But if you ever asked Bea Arthur about her marine days, she'd firmly shake her head NO and remember your face so that she can slap it after you pass through the gates of heaven. The Smoking Gun documented Bea Arthur's 30 months with the marines starting in 1943. For whatever reason, Bea has always denied serving in the armed forces and took it to HER GRAVE!!!!

Bea enlisted in the marines in 1943 after she found out there were positions for women available. Bea was one of the first members of the Women's Reserve and she started out as a typist, but also worked as a truck driver for a little while. Bea worked her way up to staff sergeant before she was honorably discharged (FYI: All of Bea's discharges were honorable, thankyouverymuch) in 1945. There's two really good parts in The Smoking Gun's story. The first being that during enlistment interviews officials found Arthur to be a know-it-all hard bitch who spits on authority. Can you tell from the "Don't Fuck With Me, Boys" smirk she's throwing in the picture above?

As part of the enlistment process, Arthur underwent interviews that resulted in the production of “personality appraisal” sheets. One such analysis described her conversation as “Argumentative” and her attitude and manner as “Over aggressive.” In a handwritten note, the Marine interviewer remarked, “Officious--but probably a good worker--if she has her own way!”

Now that is the Dorothy Zbornak we all pray to before we go to bed! And the second good part involves an STD!

The military records, released in response to a Freedom of Informaton Act request, include a single “misconduct report” filed against Arthur while she was stationed at the Marine Corps Air Station in Cherry Point, North Carolina. That misconduct determination stemmed from Arthur’s contracting of a venereal disease, which left her “incapacitated for duty” for five weeks in late-1944. As a result, her pay was reduced for that period.

Bea was married at the time so don't you call her Sgt. Dirty Slut! No, really, don't, because then Blanche Devereaux will get pissed off since that title rightfully belongs to her.

Nobody really knows why Bea refused to acknowledge that she was once a truck driving marine. Shit, if I was a truck driving marine, I'd shout it everywhere and anywhere. But who knows and who cares. Bea has her reasons and that's good enough for me.

Christmas in Pewaukee

Winter

I like winter and let me just share one of the reasons with you: Winter is like death.

Autumn is like dying.

While autumn is my favorite season, and while I am obsessed with dying, I find that period of time very stressful. Maybe it has to do with all that maudlin thinking about dying. Ask your therapist about me next time you are there and let me know.

When winter comes, the dying is over. We settle into nature's death. We live through it. I find it comforting.

I hate giving pills to a cat.

And it's like neverending. When Spunky Jones first came home from the hospital, we had to give him 4 pills a day. That lasted 7 days. Today is the first day of only having to give him 2 pills a day. This will now last another 7 days. Let me just say, it sucks.

When Bones first came home from the hospital, he was so sweet about taking his pills. He snuggled right up on my lap, I literally shoved my finger down his throat, squirted some water in his mouth, and he would kind of lick his lips and then burrow his little face right into my neck and start purring like crazy, then settle in on my lap. I think that he was so traumatized by two nights away from us, and by so many needles, IVs, catheters, etc, that having his mom give him a few pills and then it was over wasn't so bad. He soothed himself by staying close and knowing it would be over soon, and that this new situation was far superior to the old situation.

Well, Bones is feeling better. And now his basic feeling on me pills down his throat is best summed up as "Bitch! Please!" I don't even think he remembers the hospital anymore. He sure as hell isn't thankful to be home anymore. He back to considering it his birthright.

I tried to put the pill in his food once, and I'll just say that it did NOT work out. So, for the next week I'll continue tormenting him with his pill and his shot of water. Ungrateful child! He'll thank me one day.

Unconditional love.

I feelz it. As Michael K says, "Even though Johnny insists on dressing like Diane Keaton at a Bonnie & Clyde costume party, I forever would."

Inneresting.

The 10 most frequently searched words on Merriam-Webster online.

VB wears herself.

Another Victoria Beckham dress that I like, this time worn by the designer. The only problem with her dresses is that they would look horrid on me. You have to be pretty skinny to wear that much fabric over your chest and shoulders and not look like a linebacker. But since I will have no reason to ever wear her clothing, I'm not going to hold it against her that she did not keep me in mind while designing.

The soup is done.

And it's delicious. Sorry to write about one soup for 4 posts in a row. But I haven't been cooking as much lately, so today it just felt good and exciting to do it. Cooking used to be a serious hobby of mine. Since I started working, I've just been so stressed. I haven't been in the mood to do anything, not even the things that I like, such as cooking, working out, etc. If I really focus, stay positive, and try hard, I'm able to sometimes string together 2 months of walking every day, but that's been about it.

So, as far as food goes, I've mostly been content to each whatever great food Jeffrey may have made (he's a great cook!), or, on the nights when he hasn't made something or isn't here I'll just eat frozen pizza. It's disturbing.

Today as I was leaving work I thought, I NEED TO COOK SOMETHING HEALTHY. And, I love to eat vegetables, especially vegetables that we were led to believe were icky when we were younger. Beets are ducking good, that's all there is to it. Ditto brussel sprouts.

I'm hoping that all the fun I had today chopping and stirring and seasoning has rekindled my cooking fire. My guess is no, but I'll try to remain at least slightly positive.

The soup's cooking.

But unfortunately my camera died. So I'm working with my phone. It's turning beautiful and purple! Not my phone, the soup. (My phone is already purple.)

The Soup!

It begins.

Beets, cabbage, brussel sprouts, garlic,...

Yum! I'm going to be making a vegetable soup, I've been thinking about it since the snow was falling yesterday.

Human Target

Yes! Mister Jeff and I are about to watch my new favorite show: Human Target. Alright, calling it my new favorite show is a bit of an overstatement. I watched two episodes last year, but then Fox stopped coming in well on our tv. We are watching again tonight.

But I know that I love this show. It's a combination of two of my favortie things: it's like Die Hard in action, content and amazing dialogue, but in serial tv show formatting. Perfection?

12

This is not new news, but I was just thinking about my love for GB quarterback A. Rodg, and as I was browsing around about him I am reminded about this interview he did where he was funny and honest and critical of some sports personalities. It cracks me up. The article that I link to links to the interview, you should listen to it. I actually like Tony Kornheiser, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying people with an opinion. I heart #12.

Thanks!

Hello there!

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their good thoughts! I am feeling better. Also wanted to apologize that my mom's phone takes some whack ass photos!

Love,
Spunky Jones